Hilarious Names of Pentecostal Churches

Once we depart from the principles and practices of the Early Church as found in the Scriptures, there will be no limit to the errors and madness we shall venture into; and what seems as first to be so minor a point will become an enormous mountain we would find it difficult to uproot.

The apostles and ministers of the early Church had a simple way of naming churches based on its geographical locations, and all the churches we read of in the Scriptures followed that rule.

We have the church of Galatians (Gal 1:1-2), the church of Ephesus (Rev 2:1); the church of the Laodiceans (Rev 3:14), church of the Thessalonians (2 Thess 1:1) and so on; but we never read any such thing as “El-shaddai Shall Not Die Ministry,” or “Run For Your Life Ministry;” etc. Do you think I making those names up by myself to give you an interesting post? No, there are actually Charismatic and Pentecostal churches bearing such hilarious names like “El-shaddai Shall Not Die Ministry.”

You can see some pictures below; these are photos taken of the sign posts of some well known “prophetic” churches and ministries in Nigeria. I will show you the pictures and comment briefly on each of them.

This posts will also explain why we have chosen to go by the simple name of “UMUAKA CHURCH” for our local congregation here in Umuaka, Njaba LGA, Imo State, Nigeria. When we write “UMUAKA CHURCH” on the church sign post, we put a very short description like “Particular Baptists” so visitors and inquirers can easily know what we stand for. Now let us check out the names of these churches and have some spiritual entertainment:

The Devil’s Hunter Ministries

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Whatever may be the meaning this blindseer has in his mind and brain to have named his local church “The Devil’s Hunter Ministries”, one thing is certain, they are on the business of hunting out devils and evil spirits. Gone are the days when men preached to bring sinners into the consciousness of the wrath of God due to their sins, and of the way of salvation secured through the atoning death of Christ. No, gone are those days indeed! Such preaching and sermonizing may fit into the Puritanical era, but no longer in our time. Our 21st Century generation has realised that it is not sin, but Satan and evil spirits that keeps men from God’s blessing; and so the race to hunt out these evil spirits has began. Let us replace the old-fashioned doctrinal preaching with “Devil-hunting”, and the old-fashioned “accapella” singing with drums and Gospel Jazz.

If you are not moved with tears in your eyes to lament with me how swiftly our generation has turned from the old way, then you have not had a work of Grace wrought upon your heart. It is that simple.

Oh God, Na Like This We Go Dey?

bamquenters

This is a Nigerian pidgin English meaning “Oh God, are we to remain in this condition?” I don’t have much to say; but let everyone reasonable person ask himself if a sinful creature who deserves nothing from God ought to ask God such silly and stupid question.

Elshaddai Shall Not Die Ministries

el-shaddai

Don’t think this pastor was such an illiterate to have not known what he wrote on the banner there? For the fact he knows the hebrew word “Elshaddai” and Continue reading

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